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Do you feel like you aren’t getting to your teenager? Are you constantly trying to figure out how to develop the parents and teenager relationship? These are tried and teenager-approved ways to connect with your teenager.
All teenagers are different, so every idea listed won’t work for every teenager, but you are bound to find something in here that will work for your and your teenager. Give these ideas a try, because sometimes something that you THINK won’t work, actually WILL get through to your teenager, and vice versa.
It is so important for you to be there for your teenagers, while they are going through these difficult times in their lives, as they are trying to discover who they are, and who they want to be. The parents and teenager relationship is so important. Take advantage of the few years you have left with your teenager, before you send them off into the world. Be intentional about how you spend that precious time.
This post is all about developing the parents and teenager relationship.
1. Allow Autonomy
Give your teenagers an appropriate amount of freedom, and then trust them to make their own choices. They will also need to live with the consequences of their choices, but this helps them to learn and grow. God allows us freedom, and then trusts us to make our own choices, and we can mirror that with our own children. Share the “why” behind rules, so they understand why there is a curfew, or why you may not want them to go to sleepovers.
2. Build Their Confidence
Encourage your teenagers to use their skills, and to not be afraid to try new things. Teach them that mistakes are a learning opportunity, and then encourage them to use the Atonement, and trust in Christ. Teenagers need to understand that it is okay if they fall short. Also, for every one critical statement you deliver to your teenagers, make sure there are five compliments to go along, to help boost their confidence.
3. One-on-One Time
Spend one-on-one time with your teenagers. An easy way to do this is by taking them for a drive in the car. It’s a less awkward way to talk, because you don’t have to stare at each other. Go someone beautiful and walk out and look at nature together.
4. Go to All of Their Activities
Is your teenager involved in clubs, musical instruments, sports, dance? Make it a priority to attend their events, to show them that you care.
5. Eat Dinner Together Often
Dinner at the table is a great time to talk about the day, and to plan for the next day.
6. Play Games
Play games with your teenagers. Whether it is board games, or video games, just show them that you want to spend time with them. Play Pokemon GO or build Legos with your teenagers.
7. Musical Playlist
Ask your teenager to create a music playlist for you, of all their favorite songs. Impress them once you’ve learned all the words to some of the songs
8. Play Sports
Be active with your teenagers by playing sports with them. Some fun sports games include air square, spike ball, catch, and 4-square.
9. Watch Movies
Let your teenager pick out a movie, and take them to the theater with you. Want to get to know their friends? Bring them along as well.
10. Read Books/Homework
Let your teenager pick out a book, and spend ten mins a night reading with them. Help them with their homework, when they need help.
11. Date-Night
Take your teenager on a date. Let them pick out the restaurant and activity.
12. Go for a Walk
A simple activity is to go for a walk or bike ride with your teenager.
13. Create Hobbies Together
What are your hobbies? Invite your teenager to go along with you. That may be fishing, boating, hunting, camping, ice fishing, skiing, hiking, etc.
14. Take them on a trip or overnighter
Take your teenager on an overnighter, or on a family vacation somewhere fun. Some parents will give their teenager a solo vacation when they graduate or turn a certain age.
15. Music Video
My daughter LOVES to make music videos to post on social media and she is constantly begging me to be in them. We have a lot of fun learning a silly dance and performing together.
16. Be Interested
Does your child love a certain sports team, or athlete? Get interested in what they are interested.
17. Take Them Out for Food
Teenagers are OFTEN hungry. Take them out to eat. You can spend time together on the drive, and in the drive-thru. Take whatever time you can get with your teenager.
18. Take Them to an Activity
There are so many fun activities that you can do that your kids will enjoy. You could go ziplining, river rafting, off-roading, shooting, head to a ropes course, go shopping, or even rock climbing. Live near the ocean, or a lake? Take them to the beach for a few hours.
19. Work-Out Together
Make health a priority with your teen. Help them develop self-confidence, and energy, by working out with them. You can do yoga, go jogging, lift weights, swim, or take a class together at a local gym.
20. Take Them to a Show
Is there a concert that your teenager would love to attend? Take them to a concert, a play, or comedian show.
21. Cook with Them
Not only does cooking together allow you to spend time with your teenager, but it also allows them to learn life skills that will come handy when it’s time for them to leave home.
22. Tell Them You Love Them/Hug Them Everyday
Make it a habit to hug your teenager, and tell them you love them everyday when they are leaving for school, when they get home from school, and before they go to bed. Additional times are appreciated as well.
23. Art Project
Whether your child is artistic or not, an art project is a great way for them to express themselves. It can be as simple as a coloring page, or get out the paints and a canvas, and follow along to a YouTube “How to” paint or draw video.
24. Read Scriptures/Say Prayers
Read scriptures and say prayers with your teenagers. This will help them to develop their relationship with their Savior. Invite them to pray for people specifically by name, to help encourage selflessness and love for others.
25. Build Something
If you have the skills to build something, invite your teenager to help. It make be a piece of furniture, or a car or bike. Whatever project it may be, you will be teaching your teenager some useful skills as you build together, while also developing the parents and teenager relationship.
26. Smores/Night Games
Make smores with your teenager and then play night games with the family. A fun activity is to go to a park and play tag, laser tag, or capture the flag. It’ll even get your teenagers involved. Your teen would also appreciate if you invited their friends over for smores and night games, while you supervise, from the window.
27. Community Event
Does your community have something fun going on? Take them to a scary experience, or a sporting event. We have season tickets to our local college’s baseball games. My teenager loves going with the family, and will sometimes invite friends to come along as well.
28. Be Available
Often times your teenager will need rides to and from practices, to hang out with friends, or from after-school activities. Be available to drive them around. Some of our best conversations are during those short rides to a friend’s house.
29. Listen/Talk to Them
Listen to your teenager when they are talking, or even when they aren’t talking, and try to understand their perspective. Talk to them after school. Set aside a time where there are no phones allowed, maybe right after school, and ask them about their day. Talk to them. Have the essential, and sometimes awkward conversations with them, and have them often. Talk openly and be honest with them. Don’t embarrass or shame them. Show up with love. Teach with love.
This post was all about developing the parents and teenager relationship. Use these ideas to connect with your teenager, and to ensure they are better prepared to leave the nest and fly off into this great big world.